Consumed

Her worries have become her
She’s engulfed by their presence 
Constantly losing a battle she didn’t know she was fighting in

She’s buried by the past
Constantly lingering there
Her world revolves around their toxic appeal

It’s efficiency she tells herself
As she re-examines every past scenario
She’s finding the optimal solution to everything
So in the future she will have the perfect plan 

Inefficiency becomes her only concern
A plan gone awry is maddening
Her whole day falls apart
Not having complete control consumes her

She’s swallowed alive by her flooding thoughts
Constantly contaminating every moment with concern
She’s forgotten the present 
The past reflects her future

Her worries translate into every aspect of her life
Her sleeping unconscious is routinely assaulted by them
Her jaw becomes swollen and inflicted with tension
She can’t escape them because they’ve enslaved her

Her waking moments are devoured 
She can’t even tell she’s been bled dry
She doesn’t think she has anything to complain about
Her worries are silly, she knows they are
Yet they control her

She denies it, she doesn’t understand it
But they’ve become intertwined 
She can’t separate herself from the fear that dominates her

She wants to feel justified
She wants to know she isn’t crazy
So she has to convince herself
Before she can let anyone see

There they lie together
Her alongside her worries
Alone with her thoughts
Consumed

She doesn’t know what kind of life exists without them
She never realized how desperately she was seeking an escape
Until it was too late..

-K.M.
Circa 2019